THESE ARE SOME FUNNY ONE LINERS I FOUND ON THE NET FOR THINGS TO SAY AT WORK, WELL AT LEAST I FOUND THE FUNNY.


This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. ( HEY HEY! I AGREE WITH THIS ONE SOMETIMES! LOL!)

A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.

I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

Gene Police!!! Get out of the pool!!


to quote the drill SGT from full metal jacket............I'M GONNA RIP YOUR BALLS OFF, SO YOU CANNOT CONTAMINATE THE REST OF THE WORLD!........