Ah! Saturday how sweet you are, my last day for this week looking forward to my weekend. Not planning to do much this weekend going to go the drag races on Sunday afternoon. My wife has to work the races anyway so I get in for free anyway which is a good deal. It amazes me to watch these cars go rocketing down the race track like a bullet shot from a gun. I often wonder how they can keep the cars straight when going to fast. Must come with time and experience I guess but I be damned if I would want to attempt it though. The biggest spectacle is the snowmobiles they have set up to race which is very cool to watch hauling ass down the track I have seen these machine beat some of the cars down the track.

So that should be a good day to spend with my wife and son. Then I will get too sip on some good old Budweiser, ah Budweiser sweet ambrosia form the gods! Nothing like a cold beer and a hot wife :) she will probably freak when she reads this but oh well, It is true really.

Not a bad day at work so far this guy I am talking to is very anal and getting on my nerves but at least he is in a good mood, which helps. He is one of those people who are afraid to do anything himself and needs to be walkthrough every thing with me holding his hand. What a lamer for a better word.

How is everybody out there today? Hope you are all having a good day. Talk to you later.

What a nice day outside, almost to nice to be here so what do you do hunh? I have no desire to be here what so ever, I am on my third call of the day and so far I have talked to some dreadful individuals who I am convinced are not able to breath and think at the same time. I am very much on the verge of telling a customer to "FUCK OFF" today for whatever reason I am not sure. I think I need a break. This lady is snorting on the phone like fucking pig how ignorant is almost funny. i often wonder why these people are not outside enjoying the sunshine instead of whinning about email. Shows how much of a loser most of them are. It is my wife's birthday and I am stuck here iin my grey cell on the phone with a bunch of people with flat line personalitities.

Guess what I am sick of tired of channel surfing and seeing nothing but reality shows? Are the TV networks that desperate to get viewers that the must assault the airways with drivel? Such gems as Cupid, The Bachelor, American Idol, The amazing Race, the list keeps growing. Enough already! A lot of us just turn the channel and watch something else. I know I do, thank god for the discovery channel. I have an idea for a good “reality” show it would be “HOW LONG DO YOU THINK YOU CAN POSSIBLY SURVIVE!” this show would involve a bunch of these Nancy little pretty boys getting dropped off in the exercise yard of a hardcore prison yard like San Quentin. Would it not bee interest to see how these little pseudo macho boys pretending to men would cope with the harsh reality of being locked down with real men? Albeit some of these people are sexed starved violent criminals would make it just a little more entertaining. Just a thought but I would with out a doubt watch this show, heartily cheering on the inmates. Anyway just a though, talk to you later.

Well not much to write about lately, everything has been going smooth in my life. Just that I wish I could win the lottery because work is overrated in my book, but then don’t we all think that way? I bought a couple of books on Monday that I am now pursuing. Anybody out there ever hear of the author Terry Pratchett? He writes the discworld novels and I picked up two books by him the other day. Reading his books are like greeting an old friend that I have not seen in a long time. I started reading his books back when I was 17 or 18 or so and so I picked some more and I am definitely not disappointed. I will have to start hunting down the rest of his books next time I return to Coles. I cannot walk out of a book store empty handed very often is the problem I have; to me the books almost seem to beckon and plead to me to take them off the self and read and enjoy them. Unfortunately the siren song of the books takes hold of me and I buy them as much as I can. Yes I do in fact read all the books I buy, I am a repeat offender with a lot of my book in the way of rereading them if they are any good. But oh well what do you do right? At least a book does have commercials and you can pick up right where you left off.

On a little side note here once i thought to read some of the classic books. People make such a big deal over them I figured to give one of them a try and see where it led. Anybody out there ever try to read Moby Dick? The most boring book I ever had the displeasure of trying to read. I had too give up reading after chapter 2. *shudder* anyway talk to you later.

HEAT!


Earlier today I strolled outside with a back of garbage to toss in the dumpster by our apartment building. As a leisurely made my way back to the door I had a cigarette outside. Nice day I thought to myself, and indeed a very nice outside it was very sunny and humid but nothing to compare to what I would feel when I came back inside.


When I opened the door my old foe from last summer came to meet me. He came swooping down on me like an oppressive blanket that enveloped every inch of my being. “How are you? Did you miss me?” he whispered to me as a shuffled my way too the couch to try and get some relief. My old foe called heat had returned. In the winter time this entity is more an ally than a foe but in the summer time he is my enemy. You se I live in a building with lost of seniors living in it. Not a bad thing I don’t think until the summer time. When this time of year rolls around I could happily make away with the people living in the apartment below us, even in the summer time they have the heat on. They have the electric heat turned up to about 15 or 20 the comfort zone on the thermostat. Guess what heat rises? So guess what our apartment is like in the beating heart of summer? You guessed it a sauna. Even in the summer time how can old people be cold enough to turn on the heat? I am convinced they are dead and do not realize it, they WOULD have to be to be that cold and not realize it. What to do, what to do? Did I mention it was hot? If SATAN himself kicked in my front door to have a look around he would immediately ask upon entering the apartment if we could turn on a fan. It is that fucking hot. After awhile the heat makes me sluggish and tired. I am now feeling like I am in a waking comma. I bet if a held some bread dough on my lap for an hour or so I would have freshly baked bread, mind you it would smell nice but it is really that hot. Did I mention it is hot? Thank god I have a readily supply of good old Budweiser in the fridge, ah sweet ambrosia of the gods. Helps beat the heat but I have to be careful I don’t drink them to fast and become three eyes to the wind. By the way it is hot here. Anyway must go and try and find the way to cool down. What makes matters worse is the fact the HOTTEST part of the summer is yet to come. Hurray for me. Talk to you later.


P.S. IT IS HOT HERE IN CASE YOU DID NOT KNOW.


"HOT .....HOT....HOTTER THAN HELL!.......... - KISS

IT IS TOO NICE OF A NICE OUTSIDE TO BE STUCK HERE AT WORK WHAT A SHAME!

TEDIOUS



That is what is when come right down and think about don’t you think? I wake up at 8:00 in the morning every day I have to work so I will have some semblance of alertness before I get too work. I come to work jacked up juiced up on a devil’s brew of caffeine and nicotine before I start. So I get there early some time around 10:30 or so I can turn on my computer and load up all the programs so they will be ready for when I start. Then I stride off to the local Tim Horton’s so I can a drink from the nectar of the gods before I get on the phone. I walk back to work go downstairs and have a smoke then trudge upstairs to my cell *cough* I mean cubicle for the next eight hours of my life.

Eventual mentally drain and a bit disorientated I get a ride home around 8:30 pm. I try to unwind after I have supper. My wife who is up at o dark thirty which equal 6:30pm is exhausted and who can blame her. We have a shower together then she falls asleep while I watch TV or whatever I feel like doing, and who can blame her I would be tired if I got up at the ungodly hour also. I have insomnia lately and cannot sleep so around 1:00 or so at night I might go too bed where I twist and turn all night like a ungainly sea creature put on land and told to survive as best as I can. Then my body gives up and goes diving into the depths of sleep. The clock goes off at 8:00 and the whole performance is repeated.

Makes me wonder what the point of working is for anyway who the fuck can get to enjoy much out of life when you are too busy or too tired to do anything? Work is highly over rated I think. The only fun I have is on the weekend when I have my two days off and I slum it on Sundays with my wife which is worth may more than any money I can make. Some times I feel there has to be a better way; maybe I will get lucky and win the lottery. Talk to ya later.

Well today is my dreaded Monday, not a very good day when it comes to going back on the phone. The first couple of call were rough but the rest of the afternoon was not too bad all things considering. We went and looked at a house yesterday. Well that was a nice little side adventure, the people who are selling the house are asking $80,000 or so cannot remember the exact figure though but it does not matter really. Why are they asking so much is beyond me? There is a two bedroom apartment in the basement which was the biggest pig pen that I have ever seen; I bet rats were afraid to venture near there. The upstairs was so cramped that if you wanted to change your mind you have to walk outside to find room to do it. In our apartment each room is twice as big as the rooms in the house would be if you knocked down a wall and made two of the rooms into one.

So we came to the conclusion we may have to build our own house after all. So at least we will get a house the way we want it. Mind you it will expensive I bet but I think it will be worth it in the long run. Talk to ya later.

Not much happened this weekend just the normal being lazy and slumming around the apartment. We did however rent three movies this week.


The Recruit—I liked this movie it was not too shabby at all I will end up buying it sooner or later I guess. Cannot go wrong with AL PACINO movies anyway he is a great actor.

Antwone Fisher—this was not too either a bit drawn out and smacks to trying to get an award but all the same interesting movie. Not the best I have seen but not the worse movie I have seen. I did not think it was as good as The Recruit though.

Adaptation—This is the third movie we had rented. Now I usually like movies with nick cage in them and so does my wife, for this reason we rented this piece of shit. It is pretty sad we the DVD reaches chapter 7 and we both reach the conclusion that the movies has to be turned off right now and watch something else. Now usually I can suffer through a movie even if it is bad. Even if the movie totally and truly sucks you can usually laugh at it. Not this one a complete waste of time that I will never get back. I half fancy suing the movie company for mental anguish. Last bad movie I viewed of that calibre was The Order with Jean Claude Van-Damme. But when you are renting movies you win some and you lose some I guess.


So what is the worst movie any of you have seen? Let me know I am curious. Talk to you later.

Like I shot from a gun a I explode from my cubicle, disgorging myself from the drab grey dreariness that taints me like the hull of a grey battleship. My black umbilical cord that tethers me to my phone like freakishness life support systems snaps and sets me loose upon the world like bestial afterbirth I am free. Free at last time to unleash the beast with in. two days off at last what to do? I smirk to myself as I walk out the door as only I will know.


Just like the pied piper let rats rule the streets ,Dance like the marionette, swaying to the symphony of destruction.- dave mustane -megadeth

Well tomorrow is Saturday yeah! You know what this means two glorious days off! Not much to complain about lately I have been really content. Sure some of the calls I have taken have been less than stellar but then so is life sometimes I guess. Lately I have been having a lot of good days at work which is nice for a change. What does make it easier when you can share a laugh with the people who work around you all day long. When you are ready to flip out and scream helps when your supervisor who is a comic in disguise tries to make you burst out laughing on the phone. So it could always be worse I guess, I could have to work the dreaded 4:00 pm to 1:00 am shift eww! Talk to you later.

What a nice day outside, well I have been shirking my blog duties and have not posted much lately. Not much going on in my life lately my wife and I are thinking about buying a house. This is a big decision to make isn’t? The thought of owing the bank extreme amounts of money makes me cringe. When I hear the word bank I conjure up images of bullies stealing someone’s lunch money, or mean looking loan sharks coming to cut off your thumbs. All the same I guess we will have to do it anyway because I do not want to rent forever. We are paying almost $500 dollars a month to rent an apartment we that money could be paying a mortgage instead. Although renting apartments does have some positive things about it. Something goes wrong you call the landlord who comes to fix it for you. With a house you are footing the bill not a good prospect is it? God forbid something happens to me or my wife I do not want our son to be left with nothing. So we will be taking the plunge down into the dark corridor of debt soon. First we have to find a house we both like and see if the bank will reject us for a loan. That should be the interesting part to see whether they laugh and point of hand us a check after we sign our lives away. Anyway talk to you later.

MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her
stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.

LONGEST PUBES
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the
armpits and 28 inches from her vagina.

MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation,
completely insert a lubricated American football into her
vagina.

ZITS
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit
and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of
7ft 1 inch.

WORST DRINK
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely
drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their
wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently
attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.

MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is available from a few select bars in New York. It
contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of
French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a
tampon(unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'Cunt Pump'.

GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount
of seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest
height(12ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity,
with 42.7mph.

LONGEST TURD
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American,
who produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins
which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in.
The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.

MOST PROLONGED FART
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an
officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds

Two guys had grown up together since they were young. As fate would have it, one guy grew up
being a total ladies' man, and the other guy became a total nerd. One summer day the nerd could
stand it no longer. He asked his friend how he picked up all the chicks. His friend answered, "Just
put a potato down your pants and parade up and down the beach, they'll just run to you."

So the geek said, "Okay! I'll give it a try!"

So the next day he put a potato in his pants and went down to a crowded beach loaded with
chicks in bikinis. He saw his friend surrounded by girls as usual, but none came to him. All he got
was a few weird stares from older men. Dismayed, he went home.

The next day he went to his friend's house and told him his dramatic story. His friend shook his
head and said, "Buddy, you were supposed to put the potato in the front!"

ALIENS


I was bouncing around this idea today while I was having a shower. Is there life in the vast expanse of space? To think that humans are the only intelligent life form around is a pretty ignorant assumption I think. Scientist figured out that most maybe all life forms are partly created by carbon. So the old idea that a species need sunlight and oxygen was proven wrong in my mind when I watched little crab like species living in the gloom of the ocean floor. There were vents at the bottom of the ocean spewing out clouds of sulphur I think they said it was. So around these vents were what looked like crabs or small lobsters. So they did not need sunlight and oxygen now did they?

So out of the universe there is no life? I think not. Even if scientist did hit the nail on the head and are right and we do need carbon to start life then earth is the only planet with life forms? I think that is really reaching. So if there is intelligent life out there why have they not contacted us? One reason I would imagine is the distances between planets and solar systems makes a huge dent in trying to contact someone else in space. The second reason is maybe they do not deem us worthy of contacting us anyway. Here we are polluting our only home and raping the earth of all of her resources and killing each other every chance we get. We are the intelligent ones right? If alien s are around they must be shaking their heads as the watch us and think they are all fucking nuts like a bunch of retarded hillbillies.

I have read a lot of books about alien and alien abductions and all of them are very similar, so thinking about that for a second these people cannot be making this stuff up. Some of what I have read is too detailed to have been made up I think. Now we have to bear in mind some of the people in the reports are flat out lunatics but not all of them are. Besides what are you going to get out of telling some one you were abducted? Nothing much wired looks and ridicule is about all that I can see. So there must be something in all of these accounts besides the explanation of mass hysteria. I mean come on really now?

So if there is life out there a lot of people figure the major governments probably already know. I have no doubt that someone some where does know. Think they are going to tell us? Not likely. Can you just imagine for a minute the mass hysteria for a example? People flip out now over small things imagine a big bombshell like that one being dropped the masses would just freak. So I really believe someone knows the truth but will not say anything and for some people it is for their own protection I just hope before I die I find out one way or another. Anybody else out there feel the same way? Just curious is all.

IRRATIONAL


Fear is it a state of mind that is psychosomatic or is it based on a bastard sixth sense that we have left over? What I am actually talking about is the fear of what we do not know or understand? I think it is a little bit of both, what we do not know or maybe cannot conceive we fear the most. Supernatural is the key topic today folks. The reason I bought this up is my boss Steve told me about a show that comes on Saturday night called fear I think it was. Any rate it was on when I turned it on so I did not catch the name. People go to a demented haunted place and have to do dares or basically missions and they get five grand not a lot of money but hey I would give it a whirl. The creepy atmosphere or not sounds like a good idea. The shows comes on YTV at 11:00 our time, I shit you not a guy tonight was gibbering in fear at the bottom of a pit. He was snotting and bawling like a baby when it was over how sad buddy. I have been in very scary situations in my life and very creepy ones and I have never reacted that way. Fucking pussy is the phrase that crossed my mind. Then again I have been in do or die situations before so I guess I am a bit calloused when it comes to fear. Ghosts do not scare me much, well the idea does not but the execution leaves me feeling uneasy sometimes. Me and Steve had a talk and he told me about the creepy things that happened to him and I told him about mine. Like a week after my mother died I woke up with a pounding heart and seen he coming in the room. She looked down at me smiled and kissed me on the cheek. Without speaking a word she smiled and walked out of the room and shut the door. Now for the life of me I tried to remember if this was when she was alive and had performed this. As she had did many times before, so was this a dream or half state of mind I wondered. Then I analyzed it more and more but the one thing that makes my skin crawl with goose bumps is…. I remember this happening after I went to her funeral and reaching up and feeling the wetness on my cheek and rubbing it between my fingers so it was very real. Shiver just came up my spine right now and I just complete a full body shudder. Not from the memory but it feels like some one is looking over my shoulder. Eerie. Mind you my mother did not freak me out nor was I scared before or after seeing her she was mom after all and why would I be sacred of her?

So here it is, when I looked at an apartment almost next door to Steve’s I was just stepping for across the door way and I said to my wife let’s look at the other apartment. I really only hardly looked at the place but it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Bad mojo and I knew I could never live the in comfort, on the flip side as soon as I walked into this apartment I felt like I fit like a glove so there you go. Our parents were right about first impressions I guess.

Then one night after my father died I was lying on the couch asleep. If you know me you would know I am either sleeping or not there is no half way with me. I heard my name whispered then a hand grab my shoulder not hard but grab it firmly. I sat up and looked around but nothing or no one was there. I shook my head and dismissed it and said I guess it was a dream until my wife had the same thing happen. I was on the love seat watching TV and she fell asleep while I was watching and she bolted up and said someone touched her on the shoulder but I guessed they did not say her name. I told her not too mind it. I said it was dad, and I know I am right. As for this place I know something is here. Ever get the feeling you are not alone? I get it all the time here but it does not spook me. One thing does and I will explain it. Some times when I am having a leak late at night I feel something is on the other side of the door. I turn after I finish and wash my hands and look at the door. I have a sense of dread when I look at the door and I know something is on the other side of the door. Why do I feel this I do not know? I face the dread and fear and open the door but nothing is there but is it? Nothing I can see but who knows? Irrational isn’t it?

Well today is Saturday and you know what that means? I am off for the next 2 days! How nice nothing like a weekend to put things into perspective mode. It has been a long week with some horrible customers. Like the gentle man who was having trouble with his email, how are you trying send your email I asked, thinking our software or outlook express for example. From my computer came the reply, well not shit Sherlock I did not think you sending up smoke signals shit head. Eventually I wondered if he was indeed connected to the internet so I asked him. How are you getting connected? Thinking our software again or internet explorer or whatever, through my computer came the reply. Well I said do you really think I am that stupid? Give me a break people like that piss me off. Need to marinate my brain in some Budweiser this weekend.



It was a little boy's first day in school and a teacher was going to
play a "guessing" game. She passed out different items to each of the
students and proceeded to ask each student what item they received.
When it was the new boy, Johnny's turn, the teacher gave him a candy kiss.

She asked "Do you know what it is?"

Johnny replied "No"

The teacher said, "Go ahead and open it up and taste it."

Little Johnny did so.
The teacher then asked, "Now do you know what it is?"

Little Johnny said "Nooooo."

The teacher said, "I"ll give you a hint...it is something your daddy
wants from your mommy every morning before he goes to work."

A little girl in the back of the class jumps up and screams
"JOHNNY, SPIT IT OUT......... IT'S A PIECE OF ASS."

This grave of life I give to you
And all what was you know it's true
Realms of fear they speak the truth
What has passed I hand to you
Bleed for me, I've bled for you
Embrace me child, I'll see you through
Bleed for me, I've bled for you
Embrace me child, I'll see you through
I'll see you

I'll dig the hole, and bow my head
To see you smile, I wish my death
Realms of fear they speak the truth
What has passed I hand to you

Bleed for me, I've bled for you
Embrace me child, I'll see you through
Bleed for me, I've bled for you
Embrace me child, I'll see you through
I'll see you

Bleed for me, I've bled for you
Embrace me child, I'll see you through
Bleed for me, I've bled for you
Embrace me child, I'll see you through
I'll see you----By Zakk Wylde & The Black Label Society

this sums up way I feel today, The customers are like rabid vampires sucking the life out of me with vengance. Plus i am getting ready to go postal because there are certain people around me with very loud voices who will not shut the fuck up! The old anger guage is starting to rise I am going to voice my opinion really, really soon.

Ah! behold stone henge what a beautiful site isn’t it? Ever wonder what possessed these people to build it? Just imagine if you would, these blocks of stone are massive and heavy. What Herculean task it must have been to move them out into the middle of a field and stand them up on their end. Then think about some of the disgruntled people at that time “WHAT WE HAVE TO MORE?” well hey I would say that after moving just one stone also. Pretty interesting that when it was finished it turned out to a calendar of sorts but I wonder is that what they were really aiming for?
How do we know it was some guy bored to and decided you know what would look good in those fields? A big circle of stones bigger the better. Maybe he could have had a good sense of humour in knows the people after him will not have a clue for the reason him came up with the idea? That could be a possibility also could it not? Another thing that makes me wonder about is HOW they got the stones there in the first place, visions of hundreds of people pulling them with ropes and maybe wooden rollers dance in my head. You know that place was not built over night, how long did it take to finish it I wonder? What ideas drove them on to finish it? Must have been a pretty strong belief or either that the ancient druids held incredible sway over their followers, either or they were scared to death of them. That could be something to think about. For years the Catholic Church had way too much power and influence over people like a religious juggernaut. So maybe the ancient druids had the same power? Well we will never no unfortunately, it is a shame really that we will never know the answers to our question don’t you think?

Little Johnny was sitting in Beginning Sex Ed class one
day when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the
board.

"Does anyone know what this is?" She asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sure, my daddy
has two of them!"

"Two of them?!" the teacher asked.

"Yeah. He has a little one that he uses to pee with and
a big one that he uses to brush mommy's teeth!"

Not much too write about pretty mellow day at work, mind you the mentality of the customers left a lot to be desired. They have ghosted my machine at work and no the damn thing will not work properly need to have Microsoft word installed yet again. This had to bee done when we switched desks when our team had to move yet again. I told the boss to name our team THE NOMADS because we move around so much. So it is not bad enough there are a ton of re-runs on TV now they are happening at work. Oh well. I tried a test post at work to day but it messed up my blog so I am doing this from at home. Most of the people that I work around were not there today, and besides the fact we were very busy. Typically Monday for me albeit it is really Tuesday. So until I get my machine fixed at work I will wait to get home to post or before I go too work in the morning. Later.

Well the good news is my machine is acting normal again and I have most of the files I had lost. Not all but soon they will be mine again. Amazing what you can find and download from the net isn’t it? I think so, anyway I will put something a bit more interesting on tomorrow when I get too work. later.

What a drag yesterday, my computer locked up and when I restarted the machine it would not even load windows. What a piss off I had to do system restore and ending up losing a lot of files I never got a chance to burn yet. Oh well lesson learned I guess better start burning the files after I get a bunch downloaded since it takes so long for some of them to get downloaded. I am not sure why my computer just up and quit but that is life when computers are involved. On the bright side I did have a great weekend and I feel refreshed so hopefully I will have a good day when I go to work tomorrow. Right now I got too go and see if I can find the files I lost.