Friday, August 29, 2003

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" letter

from his girl friend back home. It read as follows:



Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just
too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been
gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the

picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky


The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots
they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts,
cousins etc.

In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures
of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos
in that envelope....along with this note:


Dear Becky,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your
picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care, Ricky

Thursday, August 28, 2003

I watch the news and see how every one is making a big deal over the soldiers returning home from the Persian Gulf. They welcome theses people back with open arms like conquering heroes. I often wonder how Vietnam vets watching this must feel? These people served their country and returned home to be spit on and called baby killers for example. Was their sacrifice any less noble than the soldiers who are serving now? I think so any person who wears a uniform deserves respect. You may not agree with what they do for a living, but if you did not ever put on a uniform who are you to judge? Yeah I am talking to you tree huggers and hippies.

I watch the news in the morning before I come to work; nothing else is on in the morning while I am drinking my coffee. The news is kind of depressing and fascinating at the same time. People killing each other left right and center, people suing every body and everything for no reason. How amusing I must say! Well I re-loaded my computer last night because it was acting strange which was a bit of a chore but it makes the computer run better. I used to do it every couple of months but I got lazy and have not done it in a while.

What a long day today, it is just dragging out big time. Hope it speeds up a bit, and then again it usually does after I take my lunch. Looking forward to this weekend and just relaxing and enjoying my time doing nothing.


"THE INTERVIEW"



There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured.
But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of
both of his ears. As a result of this "unusual" handicap, he was very
self-conscious about his having no ears.

Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the
insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business,
so he decided with all this money he had, he now had the means to
own a business.

So he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm.
But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he
decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business.

He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The
first interview went really well. He really liked this guy. His last question
for this first candidate was, "Do you notice anything unusual about
me?" The guy said, "Now that you mention it, you have no ears." The
man got really upset and threw the guy out.

The second interview went even better than the first. This candidate
was much better than the first. Again, to conclude the interview, the
man asked the same question again, "Do you notice anything unusual
about me?" This guy also noticed, "Yes, you have no ears." The man
was really upset again, and threw this second candidate out.

Then he had the third interview. The third candidate was even better
than the second, the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he
wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, "Do you notice
anything unusual about me?"

The guy replied, "Yeah, you're wearing contact lenses." Surprised, the
man then asked, "Wow! That's quite perceptive of you! How could you
tell?" The guy burst out laughing and said, "Well, You can't wear
glasses if you don't have any ears!"

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "Alright, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. Now it
doesn't work." Turned out, the user was playing Lunar Lander and
crashed his spaceship.
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

Monday, August 25, 2003

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day
he dialed the cafeteria and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee
quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong
extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"
"No", replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!"
The man shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you old
Bastard?"
"No.", replied the Managing Director.
"Good!", replied the trainee and put down the phone!

Sunday, August 24, 2003

Ah nothing like enjoying my first day off and not doing anything in particular. Except crusing the blogs I frequent and the new ones that I added links to on my page. I like reading when someone posts something new on their site. The thing I find with the internet is that it can be so anonymous and you have no Idea of the person whose writing is appearing in front of you. Mind you I know who owns most of the pages I read whether some of them know it or not. Makes for some good reading I must admit though.

So here I am just relaxing and listening to some music, I was playing around with my guitar for awhile until my fingers and wrist started to ache so that was enough of that until tomorrow. Think I watch a movie later on since there I nothing interesting on Sundays.

Even though the music industry is suing people for trading music is does not seem to dampen the flow of music I am seeing on the net these days. Looking at list upon lists of songs right now and they do not seem to care about who knows they are sharing their files. Makes sense too when you think of in a broader sense of the idea of sharing anyway. If you like one song my a group or artist why spend $20 or so for a CD if you like that one song and end my hating the rest of the songs? Does not make sense to me at all. No wonder people download so much music; we make people rich for what a CD of shitty songs save one? Mind you people will say that the artist are the ones suffering because they are losing money and it is hurting them. Ah yes they are hurting alright. Touring the world, thousands of fans screaming to get an autograph of just too hear them in a concert. Suffering indeed the poor bastards. They are getting more money in a month than what I will see in a lifetime most likely. How rough they have it. Must go I guess talk to you later.

Friday, August 22, 2003

Well my biological clock has ticked over today and the hands come to rest on the number 30. How do I feel about turning 30? Does not bother me in the least, just another day in the lifespan of days I will live in my life time. Do I for see a mid life crisis in the cards? Hmmm, checks pockets no nothing there. Checks brain no, no mid life crisis there either. One second (goes and checks around the corner) nope no crisis lurking around the corner. Neither is a crisis hiding under my desk. So I am in good shape I guess or at least I hope. Looking back on my life thus far is amusing to me. Would I change any of the things or the decisions I have made? No I don’t think I would really it is all a part of life, even the bad parts. Life is one big shit sandwich and sooner or later we all have to take a bite. So I chalk all of those memories that make me shudder and cringe as learning experiences, hopefully I will not make those same mistakes again. The last year for example has seen ups and downs. My father died, I got married, started a new job for example. Bit of balance in there somewhere if you look hard enough I guess. The only down fall about today is I have too work and I know it will be busy as per usual for the last week or so but oh well chin up and dig in and put my shoulder into I guess. Anyway bended your ear for long enough I guess must go and get ready for work talk to you later.


HERE IS A JOKE FOR TODAY.........


Potentially vs. realistically


A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the
difference between potentially and realistically?"

The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if
she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your
sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and ask
your brother if he'd sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. Come back
and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?"

The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money
to fix up the house and send you kids to a great college!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The girl replied, 'Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars?"
Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million could buy?"
The boy pondered that for a few days, then went back to his dad. His
father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and
realistically?"

The boy replied, 'Yes, sir. Potentially, we're sitting on three million
dollars, but realistically, we're living with two sluts and a queer

Thursday, August 21, 2003

I was thinking back to when I was young and how something like a laptop would have been like something out of a science fiction movie. If I had seen a PDA when I was a youngster I would have thought the person carrying it was an alien. Funny how fast technology has progressed so fast. I am guess soon an ordinary TV will end up being 3three dimensional for example, that would be very cool don’t you think. I also remember the cutting edge of technology was a Commodore-64 or a VIC-20, which is by today’s standards very laughable. What does the future have in store for us I wonder? Some of it will be good I imagine but some of the things they invent to make our lives easier seems to make us want to be more lazy don’t you agree? It seems to me society has become too dependant on technology in the first place anyway. Look for example when the black outs occurred last week everything in those areas pretty much ground to a halt what would be the end result if some major disaster happened for example? Not good I would imagine. One of these days we will be totally dependant on computers for everything and some one will release a virus that will bring down everything and then we will all be up the creek sans paddle. Maybe that will be the new wave of modern warfare in the future trying to give a country the blue error screen of death and making everything crash and lock up. The new viruses on the internet what if they had held a code to format all of the hard drives they came into contact with, and what if they had targeted all types of operating systems? Something to think about I guess, must go and get ready to go too work I guess talk to you all later.

HERE IS A JOKE FOR YOU....................



A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it ok for us guys to notice all the different kind of boobs?"

Surprised, the father answers, "Well, sure son, we wouldn't be normal if we didn't....there are all kinds of breasts...depending on a woman's age-- In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions, Dad?"

"Yeah, you see them and they make you cry...."


Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?"

The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it's like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yep, dried up and the balls are only there for decoration..."

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Check out these sites interesting to say the least if you want to keep abreast of all the new viruses loose on the web right now.

Globe and Mail



Symantec Security Response


Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Day one of my trek to the end of the week is complete. All in all it was not a bad day all things considering. The huge volume of calls today were people with the worm virus so no surprise there. Had only two really angry callers and it was in one ear and out the other so they did not bother me in the least. Today went by fast for a change which was nice and as an added bonus I was off a 3:30 today which was a big relief . I am off 3:00 tomorrow which is going to be even better. Thank god I am getting used to getting up earlier now and that makes it better because I am not like a zombie at work.

I was surfing the blog home page at the most recent posted sites. A lot or really interesting sites out there I must say but sad that a lot of them are in different languages and I cannot read them. So of the sites are very amusing while others seem very fixated on the political race down in the US which I find funny because all politicians are good liars I figure. I also stumbled across some very strange sites like for example a woman’s site about S&M which is out there in my book, but whatever floats your boat I guess. I might add a link because I find it entertaining to read it all the same. Anyway must go talk to you all later.

Monday, August 18, 2003

I got told about one of my posts today by the boss. The boss being my wife who told me I did not by a guitar as I posted on Friday. The guitar was bought by her and my son as a birthday present. There you go I stand humble and corrected, having been put in my place indeed. *grin* I feel so bad I think I will go and sulk for awhile. *grin* talk to you all later.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

I am enjoying my day off today, got to sleep in for a while which I enjoyed to no great end. I am not looking forward to Tuesday and going back to work. Why is that you may be wondering? The worm blaster virus that is running rampant on the good old internet is why.

If you get a virus do you really expect you internet service provider to get rid of it for you? Apparently this is the case with most of our customers. My computer is restarting every time I go on the internet what is happening? Insert sigh as I tell the for the hundred time that day what is going on. Did you see the news? No. did you see anything on the web about this? No. what do you do live in a box I think? Get with the fucking program.

Well all I can do is build you a manual connection that is secure and you have to download the patch from the internet that will keep the virus from getting back on your computer. Then you have to go and update your anti virus program. Great and how do we do that? Blinks and says you do not know how to do that? No you have to show me how. No I do not I answer we are your ISP that is not my job to show you how to use third party software or show you how to use your computer for that matter either. Yes it is I hear in return that is what your job is. This point my voice takes a nasty tone let me tell you, I counter point with this reply. I do not need you to tell me what my job is, believe me I know what I am supposed to do because I have been doing it for a long time and what you just asked me is not my job. Well I want to speak with another tech. no sir all you are going to get is customer service and they will tell you what my job is. I want to speak to your supervisor! I am really getting into this and I am grinning at this point. No I am not going to waste his time with this, this issue is landing square on your shoulders to resolve. Well I am going to call my computer manufacturer. Good luck with that sir they will ask did you do your windows updates. The answer is no which is why you have the virus in the first place. Then they will ask if you updated your anti virus program which you did not either, then they will proceed to tell you all of this is your own fault. Well he did not like that answer either and he freaked out on me. I ended up sending him to customer service which is petty I know but made me feel a little bit better.

All week I have been really nice to people who have windows 98 and windows ME because they have been waiting for help for at least an half an hour for help and I felt bad for them. The people with XP and have the virus? Fuck ‘em, the did not download the patch like they were prompted too so it is their fault for closing that little window. In case you did not know windows XP prompts you that windows updates are ready to be installed and what did they do? Yes indeed closed it. So do not whine to me. Must go I guess I will talk to you all later have a good week everyone.

Friday, August 15, 2003

Well another day another dollar I guess, it is hectic here at work the last week. That worm virus is giving me a big fucking head ache, cannot wait for this week end to get a break from it. Tomorrow is my last day for this week and the virus is supposed to do something so I am very curious as too what. So anyway I am getting a bit used to my shift and getting up at o dark thirty which is not bad I guess except I am more tired earlier at night which is a drag. Saturday night I will be in bed nice and early I expect but I get to sleep in on Sunday which is going to be nice.

Yesterday I bought a guitar and an amp, so I will have something new to play around with. I was playing around with some basic cords lat night and again this morning. The old fingers on my left hand are sore right now but that will go away I guess and it is too be expect when just starting. So I just finished my morning coffee here at work and I am getting ready to face the hordes of people I just know are going to call in with the virus. Seeing there is still some problems with the power in parts of the US I hope it is going to be slow for awhile but I don’t think it is going to last at all. I bet the flood gates are going to open and the calls will come flooding in again. *sigh* what are you going to do? Nothing much I expect. Must go and sign on the phone I guess talk to you later.



Wednesday, August 13, 2003

How depressing knowing what I am going to face tomorrow at work, Saying the same thing over and over again until I feel like a recording. “So you have windows XP hunh? Let me guess what is happening every time you go on the internet the computer keeps restarting?” the answer is yes, then I have to explain what the goddamn worm blaster virus is and what it is actually doing to their computers. Then I have to explain what windows updates are how to do them. Then they ask why “THEY” should have to do windows updates anyway. I answer example number one look what is happening to your computer. Also do you have an anti virus program? Then I have to explain what that is and what it does. Jesus wept let me tell you. So today there was pushing 300 calls waiting again today and I expect the same all week. I pity all the people with Windows 95, 95 and ME who are having trouble getting on line and are on hold for an hour or so.

One lady had the nerve to rag on me because she was on hold for 45 minutes, well if you did your updates when the computer popped up that little balloon and said updates are ready to be installed instead of closing the damn thing every time you would not be in this fucking mess. I lost my patience with her and put her in her place, and then she started complaining about the hold music. Listen I said when can do this the hard way or the easy way you decide. What do you mean she asked? Well if you don’t let me get a word in and help you I will hang up and you can call back and spend another 45 minutes remembering not to complain to the tech who is trying to help you.

On Saturday the virus is supposed to do something or another according to what I read on the internet. Mind you know one knows what exactly I going to happen but what ever it is it cannot be good. Maybe it will format every computer it is on for example. ( this I would find highly amusing, maybe mean but that is the breaks) so on Saturday when this is going to happen for example I will be in the trenches at work ready to see what is going to happen I am curious after all aren’t you? Must go I guess ranted long enough talk to you later.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

We are getting nailed with calls here today, there is over three hundred calls waiting right now. Every one with windows XP or windows 2000 are calling us. That worm virus is wreaking havoc all across the United States. It seems to me like they think it is our job to fix it when it is not in the least. It is a job for Microsoft and maybe their OEM, what a fun day this is going to be.
Well the alarm clock went off this morning; 6:25 AM definitely AM yeech! Today I start my new shift at 9:30 which is not too bad I guess today I am off rather early around 3:30 or so and the same deal tomorrow which is kind of nice. Mind you the rest of the week I am off at my usual time 8:30 at night which makes for a very long day indeed. But it could be worse I figure.

I mean I could be out digging ditches of still working in a meat packing plant. Mind you there is nothing wrong with those kinds of jobs; someone has to do them to be sure. I am just glad that it is not me. I am not a morning person at all which is going to take some getting used too I am thinking. I am feeling a bit alert right now fuelled on by 2 cups of coffee with another one to follow after I write this. So hopefully I will be a little bit ready to play the game when I get to work today.

Last night I watched the storm of the century, anybody see it? I had seen bits and pieces of it when I was one the first time. Not a bad show I must say, Stephen king rarely does a bad job on a movie if he is involved. Like when they made the stand, he did not like the movie then made his own version. That little flick took up a grand total of four video tapes, and I never seen the original version that he dislike so much but I would like to see it all the same. Anyway time for another coffee before I get ready to face the hordes at work I guess talk to you later.

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Ah another Sunday has come and passed, watched some NASCAR as per usual with my wife. In the evening we went down to what they call the boardwalk to watch the fireworks and also so my wife could hear some of George fox the country singer. Well I spent most of my time people watching as I am apt to do in situations like those. Thank god we have a normal family is all I have to say after watching people of all shape, sizes and colour stroll by. What people wear out in public is what I find highly amusing. What possesses people to dress like this in public makes me smirk. Teenage girls wearing belly tops with what looks like a beer belly hanging out over the waist of hip huggers hmmm sexy I don’t think so. Old people dressed in a myriad of different colours like the circus has descended on the town. All in all it was a good evening I guess. My back was bothering me the whole time which dampened my sprit but that’s the breaks I guess.

Friday, August 08, 2003

mercyful fate
Your the Satanically Delicious MERCYFUL FATE!


What Metal Band Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Well today is Friday and that means one more day to go, thank good looking forward too my two days off. It is a shame when you think about almost like I am wishing my life away isn’t it? Each week when I start on Tuesday I cannot wait until Saturday so I can get off work for two days. But such is the nature of the beast I guess. Finished my game of civilization today I was forced to retire, my grand designs did not come to pass. The Americans attacked me all of a sudden at the end of the game which was an unexpected turn of events. I gave them a bloody nose however then the asked me to sign a peace treaty when I captured a couple of their cities.

So this weekend I will start up a new game and this time I think I will pick some different civilizations to play against this time to shake things up a bit. I will still play as the Romans though because the is something greatly satisfying as pretending to be Caesar of the Roman Empire. Must go and get ready to take some calls I guess talk to you later.

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Ever have one of those days at work when time stretches and warps around you? Feels like that right now, I have been here all day and it feels like I have just started my shift. Almost like I am doing the running man but not moving an inch. I hate days like this with a passion, nothing worse in my mind. Just imagine when I have to pull a ten hour shift next week. It is going to be hell with florescent lighting to be sure.

Side note here, what the fuck is the major malfunction with people from New York? Every time I get someone from that state I can hardly get a word in edge wise. Seems if you are calling up for tech support you should at least let me talk in the first place instead of listening to your insane babbling about the complete history of your computer and every thing that has ever happen since you started using the internet. Then to top it all of cut me off ever time I try and say anything. “you will have to let me get the words out of my mouth so I can help you or we are going no where fast, and if this keeps up I am going to drop the call and you can go through all of this with some one else.” Guess how many times I have to say this in a run of a week? Way too many, my patience here at work are really starting to run out big time. Need some time off, talk to you later.
Well I am going to be starting a new shift on Tuesday, I will have same days off which is a good thing that way I will not have to get used too different days off. I will be starting at 9 or so in the morning which will take some getting used to. Getting up early on Tuesday morning is going to put me in the hurt locker for the first couple of days. I will be getting old supervisor again so will know what to expect, which be back to comic amusement once again. Life is good for me lately no complaints to speak off except I cannot book a day off at all. Which is a slight piss off because I did not get any vacation either, sooner or later they will have to give me some before I get all crispy and burn out. It has been really busy here at work for the most part, which is good in one day because it makes the day go faster but it hard on the old cranial cavity. Most of the time I feel mentally drained most days. Wish I could win the lottery but then again it is hard to win when I don’t buy any tickets. Must go and finish talk to this woman and fix her stupid mistake.

Monday, August 04, 2003

Well for the last week or so I have been playing civilization three; I have been guiding my fledgling roman empire to greatness. It is a long game I must admit, but is fun. I like these strategy games. Eventually I had to make a hard decision in the game; I could not build certain units because I did not any rubber for a resource. Low and behold the Greek society did and it was just on the outskirts of my border. So I assembled a strike team and attacked the city that had the rubber I needed. It went all down hill from there. As soon as I attacked and captured the city obviously the Greeks declared war on me and so did the Egyptians seems that had a mutual protection pack that I did not know about. So there it was a war on two fronts. So I change my production to war time and ran rampant all over the continent. Armour and mechanized infantry starting seizing city after city, eventually the Greeks asked to sign a peace agreement. So since I had the rubber I had wanted I said yes. Sneaky bastards got the other civilizations to sign a trade embargo on me. War was declared on them the very next turn. Since then I have them cornered on two small islands that I am closing in on with transport and tanks. The Egyptians are almost exterminated, the must have a couple of cities on an island that I have not located yet because I have spotted some of their ships sailing the high seas. Once I have finished with those two and consolidated my hold on the land I spring forward once more in a blitzkrieg move on the other players. The French, Americans and the Indians are left unmolested at this point and time but their time will come. The French have been a bit useful because I got them to join with me in a pact against the Greeks and Egyptians but they lost the will too fight and signed a peace accord with them two turns later. I felt the knife in my back when they did that since I had to bribe them with some technology to get them to agree in the first place. They will know my wrath when I armour starts setting their sights on French cities. I have not used cruise missiles or nuclear weapons yet but the world will rock with explosions soon as I unleash hell’s fury on the snivelling French fuckers. Any way must go war waits and I must go and lead my roman hordes to the greatness the deserve talk to you later.

Friday, August 01, 2003

Well it is Friday, tomorrow I will get my two days off and I cannot wait. What a long week it has been. We are going to be changing shifts soon and I guess it is sort of like the lottery, I am hoping to get a shift that I picked but not very likely in my mind. I have been a bit preoccupied this week and have a fair bit on my mind therefore I have not really posted anything the last couple of days. When all of this pans out and comes to a close I may write it down to get it off my mind. However on Wednesday I almost freaked at work and told two customer right where to go. Bad day that day let me tell you, too many people taking leave of absences and too many calling in sick. Makes the rest of us busy and makes more calls waiting. Don’t want to work during the summer time? Fucking quit because you cannot have your cake and eat it too. There is a lot more people out there who would like a job and who are willing to work. The people who show up every day are getting fucked over big time. We cannot get a day off to save our lives and I cannot get any vacation how shitty is that? The strain is starting to show on some of the people at work as well, lots of grumbling going on. Something will have to change soon I hope, maybe it will take a turn for the better but I am not holding my breath. Anyway got too go talk to you later.