I wonder why is it when you are young you wonder and think about what your life is going to be like and when you get older you remember what your life has been like? I am sitting here staring at my computer screen, as I sit and stared a wind blows through my mind and flips through my book of memories and stops on a specific page.

Now I was no born with a silver spoon in my mouth to be sure. I grew up in a small town with a very small population. It was some like population 300 and 299 of them were sheep. HA HA! not that bad but close. My father was a fisherman and my mother worked in a fish plant as was the time in Newfoundland. So there is my memory staring back at me. There I was a little child no more than 5 or so, it was beautiful day not a cloud in the sky and what was I doing? Sitting on the hill in my back yard watching squid dry on poles. (MY DREAM JOB) That was one of my numerous jobs when I was a child, you HAD to watch them because blue jays and seagulls would come rocketing down out of the sky and steal them. What kind of torture was this for a 5 year old with the attention span of a retarded house fly? Very nasty indeed.
So as you can guess I grew up around fish all my life and I declare my house a fish free zone sort of like the demilitarized zone in Vietnam. I have a serious hate on for fish, they may not hold a person grudge towards me but I loath them. Anyway that you can think of fish I have had it for supper when I was a child. Why? My father brought his work home with him. So If I seen a cod fish walking down the road for example I would jump the son of a bitch, goddamn right. The police would show up and I would be a gibbering lunatic pounding its dead body. Yeah that is right boys and girls I am a little bit racist when it comes to fish. Different ethic back rounds no problem. Your skin is a different color? No problem. Gay, lesbian? No problem. If you are a fish? You are one dead motherfucker!

To this day I cannot even stand the smell of fish cooking my stomach rolls. Mind you I do like to go fishing even I can give the little Satan spawn away. My mother died when I was in grade 5, my father followed just last year. We had a rough time of it because he had some kids to feed and not the world’s greatest cook. Compound that with outstanding hospital bills because she had been battling cancer and so can see where this is going.

The other food that will make me lose my cool is HAMBURGER FIXINGS! I think that is how it is spelled. To this day I am not sure if it was a cheap knock off of hamburger helper but I shudder when I think of it. I was feed this for about 3 months straight for supper before dad himself said I am sick of this shit. I told my wife do not ever bring it in the house, we have never had an argument in the time we have been together. If she bought it in the house I told her get ready for one because I would freak out. I have visions of the box hurling out the window at the speed of sound. We both agree of the fish thing thank god she cannot stand it either, our son likes fish but if he wants any cooked he better move out because we are not buying any that is for damn sure.

Anybody else out there have a food you hate? I can imagine so. Later got to get ready to go to work I guess.


"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."

--Ellen DeGeneres