chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in
Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for
coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that
preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge
would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day
experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear,
preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and
has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the
woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to
him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with
me and began to slap me around. So I quick grabbed my holy water,
sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as
a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first
communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an
arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and
brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we
don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And
then I began to read to him from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear
wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to
rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until
we came to a crick. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy
soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We
spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's Holy
Word, and praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital
bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors
running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up
and says, "Oy, You fellows don't know what trouble is until you try
to circumcise one of those hairy buggers!"
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