A guy gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where the hell have you been?" "I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis.""What the hell were you thinking? Why did you get a hundred dollar bill on your penis?" "Well, number one, I like to watch my money grow . . . Number two, once in a while, I like to play with my money . . . Third, I like how money feels in my hand . . .and lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."