I just despise the word savvy, when a customer says I am not very computer savvy my blood just boils. I would gladly strangle them with my black umbilical cord that connects me to my phone. Not amusing in the least, rank up there with someone saying I am computer illiterate that pisses us off just as bad. I mean come on we know how dumb you are as soon as you start talking, pretending you know what is going on because you brother, son who plays games on his computer who is obliviously a computer expert thinks he knows what is wrong and deleted something he should not have in the first place. Jesus wept when I talk to some of these people, this job can be very depressing at times. Other times it can be highly amusing but I find those calls are few and far between. I mean some of these people are taking this shit way too seriously. I cannot get my email in a whole hour, will pick up the fucking phone and call the person for god’s sakes you introvert. Because of the worm blaster virus I have not been on the internet I a couple of weeks, so am I going to get my money back for those two weeks or a free month or two?

Listen up if you got the worm virus how is that your ISP’s fault? It is YOUR fault for closing that box that says windows updates are ready to be installed. Now I know most people think that Microsoft should not have to patch their software but if you think you can build a version of an operating system that will run on multiple machines be my guest. Besides the fact you do not by a car for example and never put oil in it for example. That is what windows updates are for example, regular maintenance. Well I must get down off my soap box for awhile and fix this guy’s problem, talk to you all later.



High Tech Customer

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers like there's a telephone in his hand, then puts his palm up against his cheek and begins talking. Suspicious, the bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here.

The man says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular."

The bartender says "Prove it."

The man dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talked into the hand and carried on a conversation. "That's incredible!" says the bartender. "I would never have believed it!"

"Yeah", said the man, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?"

The bartender directed him to the men's room. The man went in and twenty minutes go by and he didn't return. Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room to check on the man.

The man is spread-eagled up against the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt.

"Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?"

The man turned and said, "No, no, I'm ok. I'm just waiting for a fax."