IRRATIONAL


Fear is it a state of mind that is psychosomatic or is it based on a bastard sixth sense that we have left over? What I am actually talking about is the fear of what we do not know or understand? I think it is a little bit of both, what we do not know or maybe cannot conceive we fear the most. Supernatural is the key topic today folks. The reason I bought this up is my boss Steve told me about a show that comes on Saturday night called fear I think it was. Any rate it was on when I turned it on so I did not catch the name. People go to a demented haunted place and have to do dares or basically missions and they get five grand not a lot of money but hey I would give it a whirl. The creepy atmosphere or not sounds like a good idea. The shows comes on YTV at 11:00 our time, I shit you not a guy tonight was gibbering in fear at the bottom of a pit. He was snotting and bawling like a baby when it was over how sad buddy. I have been in very scary situations in my life and very creepy ones and I have never reacted that way. Fucking pussy is the phrase that crossed my mind. Then again I have been in do or die situations before so I guess I am a bit calloused when it comes to fear. Ghosts do not scare me much, well the idea does not but the execution leaves me feeling uneasy sometimes. Me and Steve had a talk and he told me about the creepy things that happened to him and I told him about mine. Like a week after my mother died I woke up with a pounding heart and seen he coming in the room. She looked down at me smiled and kissed me on the cheek. Without speaking a word she smiled and walked out of the room and shut the door. Now for the life of me I tried to remember if this was when she was alive and had performed this. As she had did many times before, so was this a dream or half state of mind I wondered. Then I analyzed it more and more but the one thing that makes my skin crawl with goose bumps is…. I remember this happening after I went to her funeral and reaching up and feeling the wetness on my cheek and rubbing it between my fingers so it was very real. Shiver just came up my spine right now and I just complete a full body shudder. Not from the memory but it feels like some one is looking over my shoulder. Eerie. Mind you my mother did not freak me out nor was I scared before or after seeing her she was mom after all and why would I be sacred of her?

So here it is, when I looked at an apartment almost next door to Steve’s I was just stepping for across the door way and I said to my wife let’s look at the other apartment. I really only hardly looked at the place but it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Bad mojo and I knew I could never live the in comfort, on the flip side as soon as I walked into this apartment I felt like I fit like a glove so there you go. Our parents were right about first impressions I guess.

Then one night after my father died I was lying on the couch asleep. If you know me you would know I am either sleeping or not there is no half way with me. I heard my name whispered then a hand grab my shoulder not hard but grab it firmly. I sat up and looked around but nothing or no one was there. I shook my head and dismissed it and said I guess it was a dream until my wife had the same thing happen. I was on the love seat watching TV and she fell asleep while I was watching and she bolted up and said someone touched her on the shoulder but I guessed they did not say her name. I told her not too mind it. I said it was dad, and I know I am right. As for this place I know something is here. Ever get the feeling you are not alone? I get it all the time here but it does not spook me. One thing does and I will explain it. Some times when I am having a leak late at night I feel something is on the other side of the door. I turn after I finish and wash my hands and look at the door. I have a sense of dread when I look at the door and I know something is on the other side of the door. Why do I feel this I do not know? I face the dread and fear and open the door but nothing is there but is it? Nothing I can see but who knows? Irrational isn’t it?