Earlier today I strolled outside with a back of garbage to toss in the dumpster by our apartment building. As a leisurely made my way back to the door I had a cigarette outside. Nice day I thought to myself, and indeed a very nice outside it was very sunny and humid but nothing to compare to what I would feel when I came back inside.
When I opened the door my old foe from last summer came to meet me. He came swooping down on me like an oppressive blanket that enveloped every inch of my being. “How are you? Did you miss me?” he whispered to me as a shuffled my way too the couch to try and get some relief. My old foe called heat had returned. In the winter time this entity is more an ally than a foe but in the summer time he is my enemy. You se I live in a building with lost of seniors living in it. Not a bad thing I don’t think until the summer time. When this time of year rolls around I could happily make away with the people living in the apartment below us, even in the summer time they have the heat on. They have the electric heat turned up to about 15 or 20 the comfort zone on the thermostat. Guess what heat rises? So guess what our apartment is like in the beating heart of summer? You guessed it a sauna. Even in the summer time how can old people be cold enough to turn on the heat? I am convinced they are dead and do not realize it, they WOULD have to be to be that cold and not realize it. What to do, what to do? Did I mention it was hot? If SATAN himself kicked in my front door to have a look around he would immediately ask upon entering the apartment if we could turn on a fan. It is that fucking hot. After awhile the heat makes me sluggish and tired. I am now feeling like I am in a waking comma. I bet if a held some bread dough on my lap for an hour or so I would have freshly baked bread, mind you it would smell nice but it is really that hot. Did I mention it is hot? Thank god I have a readily supply of good old Budweiser in the fridge, ah sweet ambrosia of the gods. Helps beat the heat but I have to be careful I don’t drink them to fast and become three eyes to the wind. By the way it is hot here. Anyway must go and try and find the way to cool down. What makes matters worse is the fact the HOTTEST part of the summer is yet to come. Hurray for me. Talk to you later.
P.S. IT IS HOT HERE IN CASE YOU DID NOT KNOW.
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